Why hello there.

I am Mr. Sands

What can I do for u?
about-brooklyn

I’m Awesome. You’re Welcome.

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You definitely worked for me at some point. 

Fred J. - An ex-boss I go way back with
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 Click to View My Portfolio
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What I bring to the table

I know almost everything & I'm a ninja transformer.

I am a Transformer

This car is a picture of my hot ex-girlfriend.

I know about the Internets

I use Facebook almost twice a day.

I live on the Earth

I’m not from some shitty planet like Neptune. 

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I’m basically a one-man army.

All I do is eat, sleep and work like crazy.
Here's a breakdown of my day:

Eat
10%
Sleep
20%
Tweet
10%
Work on your project
70%
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Get on my waiting list

I'm actually really busy and super expensive.
Are you sure you still want to work with me?
Sigh, fine. I guess.

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More awesome pictures of me

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Canon
Microsoft
Samsung
Kodak
Sony
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  • Just a huge thanks for all your help. I love you!

    My mom
  • You sure know how to program in jQuery, by golly!

    Ronald Regan
  • Please take me off your mailing list.

    Richard Branson, Virgin CEO
  • You’re great a drawing stuff! Keep it up.

    Grandpa Sands
  • Sir, you cannot use your phone until you pay your balance.

    AT&T Customer Service
  • There’s no way you’re going to get a quote from us to use on your website.

    Metropolitan Police spokesperson
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I’m sad about something.

I'm very sorry to hear that. It will be okay.

Hey! I just met you, but call me maybe.

Contact me 24/7. Except Wednesday.
That's when I sleep.